Last Updated on June 22, 2026

Stress eating, and I had a history together. It started with school stress in Grade 9 and recurred in Grade 12. I had – I thought I had – my stress under control for several years in my young adulthood, but it deteriorated in my late 20s.

*This article is in relation to Daily writing prompt-2808.

peer pressure

What caused stress during my teenage years? From my experience, it was peer pressure. I grew up in a highly competitive city where most people around me started their journey early. For instance, at a very young age, I was suggested to learn different languages, music instruments, sports – you name it. Fortunately, I was able to choose what I enjoyed. I found my love in music and language within the self-discovery process, but I slowly became a Type A person – I wanted everything to be executed to perfection.

Perfectionism

When I was in college, I learned my lesson the hard way. One of my mentors reiterated that I should “let go of the imperfections”. Otherwise, I would never be able to move on to the next project.

Ironically, when I finally learned to say “no” to people. One of my friends at that time, Friend A, sabotaged my reputation covertly after I said “no” outright to complete their part of the group project for them. Instead, I gave a piece of advice regarding who they could turn to, e.g., a Teacher’s Assistant (TA). Friend A never responded to me. They ended our friendship immediately.

All things considered, the biggest mistake I made in my young adulthood was believing I should be perfect. I wish my younger self had understood that imperfections are what make life more exciting and interesting. Different life experiences are what shape individualized resilience.

what i learned from the Experience

One of the reasons why I created this blog in the first place is that a dearth of mental wellness resources for adults exacerbates the existing issues amid many aspects of adulting. Although I enjoyed my time working with people with diverse abilities and (the so-called) vulnerable populations, there is only so much I can do. Fortunately, I seized the opportunity to explore different career paths. As a result, I discovered how I can truly (and finally) demonstrate my skills, knowledge and abilities. Instead of offering therapeutic treatments for certain groups of people, what I do best is to empower all adults who wish to make real changes, find their inner tranquility and live a balanced life through education, not indoctrination.

How did stress eating happen to me? As I consistently put extreme pressure on myself, it came to a point where nothing else could make me happy instantly but carbohydrates, sugar, salt, oil and butter.

the Stress eating cycle

Junk food and I connected during the darkest moments of my life. I failed to find a healthy way to relieve stress as a youth. There was a time when I felt embarrassed to order more food from this local Italian fusion restaurant. I will never forget their large baked chicken and veggie penne with creamy sauce that once made me order two of them at the same time. Having delectable food did boost my mood at the beginning, but it was just a moment of ecstasy – I felt worse afterwards.

The amount of calories consumed per meal deteriorated my health conditions – I was constipated for a long time, and my menstrual cycle was off-balance. I became impatient, weak, and lethargic. Little did I know that my reckless course of action would cost my confidence and self-esteem.

Fat shaming

People around me would rather judge my appearance than empathize with what has happened to me mentally. The very last incident occurred four years ago. I started to stress eat again and gradually gained 45 – 50 pounds over three years. And finally, in the 2022 Spring, it came to my attention that I needed to reverse obesity.

Prior to the recent discovery, I had already gone through several phases of weight loss once. Losing 40 – 50 lbs in 6 months as a young adult was a piece of cake. I fasted and cut out carbohydrates and sugar – as everyone suggested – but I was never genuinely happy.

I maintained my weight (105 – 108 lbs) for about 8 years, but I lost control in 2019 again. Why?

The golden rule of losing body fat and maintaining weight is not your motivation, but your mindset.

I didn’t do it for the right reason.

Back in the day, I indulged in a light and slightly unhealthy breakfast. The restaurant owners knew me well. They witnessed my first weight loss journey.

happiness seems so far away

One day, the owner recognized the rapid change in my body shape and mentioned, “Hey, I noticed you don’t look as happy as before!” I was stunned, asking them to clarify, they explained, “You seemed happier when you were chubby!”. More than a decade ago, someone wise and honest (which is very hard to find these days because people get offended too easily) once pointed out that losing weight might not be the solution to my obesity – finding a way to manage stress was.

Maintaining unrealistic beauty standards

I underwent so much stress/tension from schoolwork, volunteering, practicums, work and relationships over the years. Food became my only hope for a long time. Losing weight was never my intention at that time; I just had had enough of the negative comments about me being “fat” and “ugly”. I might be a little bit heavier than I was supposed to, but I never considered myself ugly. I lost weight for the wrong reasons – to meet the unrealistic beauty standards.

In 2019, the second-wave of stress occurred when I entered the real world fully. I had been involved in the community and work environment for about 8 years at that point. I loved my work so much that I would voluntarily work overtime hours in exchange for lieu time (which could be taken at my discretion). What I did not enjoy was the weak communication in the workplace, which caused me stress. I started stress eating again.

work-related stress: poor management resulting from a lack of communication

“Aren’t we in frontline services? Shouldn’t we all be effective communicators here?” – I still wonder why most people in client-facing roles aren’t good at communication.

Furthermore, management team members aren’t always willing to listen. Some managers disagree with the thought that people matter (Kasanoff, 2014). Remember an HR professional who believed a manager was managing the office rather than working with people?

Written by Swartz, M., Monster, a popular job board, revealed 5 top reasons why people quit their jobs: 4 out of 5 of them were due to poor management. In other words, poor management causes high turnover and decreases employee engagement. To my surprise, it is not a secret that replacing amazing staff is costly, but for whatever reason, most companies/ organizations would still rather keep looking (for new entry-level/ mid-level employees) than improve their leadership qualities or simply hire qualified leaders.

Poor management can cause significant mental distress, which often comes from poor communication. Improving communication skills often results in high productivity and high job satisfaction.

the next chapter

All in all, I did find a way to combat stress eating, thankfully. Designing and maintaining a blog is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. The ability to be a visionary author who is on a mission to change the world is an unbelievably incredible feeling.

When communication goes well, it brings people closer, which helps all of us to achieve inner tranquility. How simple is that!

At the moment, although I have lost most of the unhealthy body fat, my ultimate goal is to reach inner tranquility and live a more balanced life. In my next article, I will dive deeper into a voyage of self-discovery. I hope my story has empowered you to start your own journey!

References

Kasanoff, B. (2014, July 21). People Are What Matter Most In Business. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucekasanoff/2014/07/21/people-are-what-matter-most-in-business/?sh=52d826e37647

Swartz, M. (n.d.). Why People Leave Their Jobs. Monster. https://hiring.monster.ca/resources/workforce-management/employee-retention-strategies/why-people-leave-their-jobs-ca/