Last Updated on October 10, 2026
“Empathy” has become a buzzword over the past few years; however, hardly anyone, including psychological experts, can precisely explain what “empathy” really looks like in practice. This is because higher education prioritizes hard (technical) skills, such as “theories” and “hypotheses” over human skills, such as “empathy” and “resilience”. With a focus on Social Work (macro level/holistic) perspective, this educational article emphasizes “empathy is a skill, not a trait”.
author’s preface
Berelevant Network is a human skills training center aiming to give hope and transform the lives of individuals and teams in a non-traditional way. Through dynamic learning and relevant human skills development, we believe ANYONE (neurodivergent or not) can live their “rich life” and “be their authentic self”. Our social environments shape who we have become, but every person is capable of change. “Identity” is a fluid concept, not fixed, after all.
That is to say, without proper education and training in “empathy”, a formally trained psychological or helping professional, like an occupational therapist, social worker, counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist MAY still not be “empathetic”. Because “empathy” is a learned skill, not a trait.
Disclaimer: Our content is for educational or informational purposes only. No psychological or medical advice is provided. So, we encourage you to reach out to us directly if you have any specific questions regarding this topic.
What is empathy?
Empathy, first and foremost, is not sympathy. Empathy, in simple terms, occurs when a person chooses to actively listen and connect with another person experiencing a crisis or dealing with trauma on a deeper level.
If your best friend, Raj, chose to tell you, “I had a rough day.” instead of “I’m alright.” when asked about their day, and you replied something along the lines of “oh! I’m sorry to hear that! Cheer up!”, then you stopped right there and went about your day, this would be showing sympathy not empathy.
Oftentimes, “to empathize with someone” is easier said than done.
An empathetic person would instead observe and continue the conversation if Raj was willing to share more. Showing empathy is about being observant, giving undivided attention and actively listening when someone in your life – a friend, partner, co-worker or family member – sends a (subtle) signal through verbal or non-verbal communication, asking for help.
Do you see the difference?
One is to acknowledge that you heard a person expressing their feelings or thoughts, and the other is to give your own time and support to understand the underlying message of such a statement.
3 common myths about empathy
1. Empathy is a personality trait
Song & Shi (2017) used the Interpersonal Reactivity Index and Big Five Inventory to measure the correlation between empathy and personality traits among university students attending medical schools in China. It exemplifies a perspective on “what empathy is” from a medical professional’s standpoint.
Similarly, a 2019 podcast, Speaking of Psychology: Episode 95, run by the American Psychological Association (APA), invited a guest, Sara Konrath, PhD, an associate professor at Indiana University and director of the Interdisciplinary Program on Empathy and Altruism Research, to speak about “empathy”. They, too, echoed that they measured “empathy” via the Interpersonal Reactivity Index.
2. Empathy is sympathy
When you look further into the Interpersonal Reactivity Index, a measure of dispositional empathy, developed in the 80s, they are, in fact, close-ended questions. Just like many other questionnaires for ADHD, Depression, and Personality Tests. Empathy is; therefore, often misconstrued as sympathy. Namely, “I feel you” is not the same as “I see you”.
“I feel you” means you can “relate to” a situation (because you have experienced it). On the contrary, “I see you” is more of an abstract concept. Something you may or may not have experienced, but you are willing to build trust and offer support.
3. empathy needs company
“You are not me and you have never been through this, how could you possibly understand me? ” Do these statements sound familiar? Such a statement implies, “I don’t want your sympathy!”.
It is, as a matter of fact, sympathy – feeling sorry for someone – that often needs company. For instance, the difference between a support group and a coaching session run by Berelevant Network is the former highlights emotional well-being, whereas the latter often involves goal-setting. That said, the participants of a support group may show “sympathy” to a person sharing their experience, but not empathy.
Did you know Empathy is a skill not a personality trait?
Empathy is not a trait – some people have it, while others don’t. You can be a caring person, but it doesn’t mean you are an empathetic person.
To be more specific, empathy is a skill that can be professionally trained by mastering practicums in different settings. Nevertheless, it is not something a person with a relevant degree can easily excel at without actively contributing to various community work. In a nutshell, empathy is not just a professional skill but an essential human skill that is relevant and benefits all.
anyone can be more empathetic if we make relevant training and the right support Accessible
Ratatouille, a 2007 American film distributed by Walt Disney Pictures and Pixar Animation Studios
In summary, pointing out that “a person is lacking empathy” is much easier than helping them understand what empathy is and how to learn such a useful skill. In general, common solutions are as follows: working on “internal issues”, like “work-related stress” or “trauma”. Theoretically, once a person has successfully overcome their “stress” or “trauma”, they would also learn to be more “empathetic”. Something’s missing, isn’t it?
This is where Berelevant Network comes in!
Rome wasn’t built in a day – the right empathy training and support is Necessary
Since “Rome wasn’t built in a day”, empathy requires ongoing training, like awareness workshops and cultural sensitivity training, until mastery. And, unfortunately, there’s no shortcut to it.
To become an empathetic person, you need to accept constructive feedback, which includes having difficult conversations and starting open communication. Depending on a person’s past learning experience, the process can take anywhere between a few sessions and several years.
As mentioned, empathy is a skill, and you might have learned it from free (online) resources or employee training. However, incorporating “relevant” and “context-driven” materials into training is what makes Berelevant Network’s online live dynamic learning (see what’s available now) more valuable than pre-recorded videos and traditional/rote learning.
Choose the right empathy training and support by reviewing these 7 criteria below summarized by Vivian Davis:
- Instructor’s experience (not degrees)
- The quality of the free consultation if applicable
- Interactive learning – get answers clarified immediately or at a later date, depending on the relevance and complexity of each question
- Encouragement
- Reinforcement
- Emphasis on “real-life” contexts, including cultural-based content
- Tailored “take-home” practices/activities – determined at the end of each training
berelevant network, a human skills training center
Berelevant Network’s mission is to educate, empower, inspire and revolutionize the adult learning environment.
We understand each and every person is bombarded with “(frivolous) commercials” and “(rigid) experts say”. As a result, it can be daunting and overwhelming to choose what’s right and relevant, and simultaneously, keep yourself on a manageable budget.
Whatever it is that is holding you back, you undoubtedly have the ability (power) to turn setbacks into strength with proper training and support. Empathy, in practice, might seem subtle, but it can turn a conversation around.
what’s next?
Get in touch with us at your discretion. Review our Help Center to get immediate support, schedule a free consultation here or schedule your training session today. Furthermore, our Communication Skills Training is developed in-house, delivered online live and updated annually.
Note: Empathy training is for everyone. For workplace empathy training, please submit your business inquiries here. All training programs are highly sophisticated and developed to a high degree of complexity. Rest assured, we will be with you every step of the way.
References
Song, Y., & Shi, M. (2017). Associations between empathy and big five personality traits among Chinese undergraduate medical students. PloS one, 12(2), e0171665. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0171665
Luna, K. (2019, December). Speaking of Psychology: The decline of empathy and the rise of narcissism, with Sara Konrath, PhD. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/empathy-narcissism
Berelevant Network. (2024, October 10). A Support Group for Adults | Berelevant Network [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RCFl5HUlHo
BVHERatatouille. (2008, February 8). RATATOUILLE — FILM CLIP: “ANYONE CAN COOK” [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thkDWSUzQDo
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