Last Updated on June 8, 2026
Gender Stereotypes: Femininity vs. Masculinity
Because of gender stereotypes, I missed the opportunity to become a woman in Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM) at the age of 18. My dad expected me to study something more feminine, such as accounting, law, education and office administration. Perhaps I compromised at that time; it was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I didn’t become a (natural) scientist, but I became (and still am) an expert in human behaviour and social environment.
Gender Expectations: an Anecdote
At age 22, my grandmother wanted me to get married and have children. In her mind, it is easier for a female to succeed (or, you can say to survive in a patriarchal society). With all due respect, I believe in autonomy and self-actualization despite facing adversity. Thus, I was on a mission to change their mind. I applied for a Master of Public Health (MPH) program covertly because I still wanted to study science. Did I successfully change their mind?
the Science camp
How did I realize what my true passion is? During high school, I attended a week-long science summer camp where I defeated 200 other students. It was my mom who consented and supported the entire process, of course. My mom was proud of me and my decision. As far as I know, I was the only selected student who wasn’t from their local communities. I packed my whole life into a large suitcase and anticipated what was ahead of me.
There were 90 students (45 males and 45 females) altogether. The college students assigned us to groups. Our team was not competitive at all initially until we discovered that one of our team members was a genius in biology. We ranked from the bottom three to the top three – what a surprise. I made so many great friends and met amazing people who inspired me to pursue my passion.
the Life-changing Decision
After returning home, I told my dad, who was still in shock that I left home for a science camp, that I wanted to study science and chemistry in college. My dream was to be a chemical engineer. Unsurprisingly, my proposal was outright denied. My dad gave me a look as if I wasn’t smart or intelligent enough to study science and engineering. My grandmother, on the other hand, emotionally blackmailed me – “You are a female. Why do you want to study and work so much? You won’t find anyone to start a family with if you are too old (like after the age of 25)!”
The realization
I successfully changed their minds after being accepted into the MPH. A month later, I started another application in Learning Science and Psychology and eventually got accepted as well. No one understood what happened and why I did what I did, but at least no one questioned me about whether I had the ability to study science.
My mission was accomplished.
What really happened was I might have convinced my family, but I didn’t convince myself. Was I really choosing a career path for myself, or was I just trying to prove myself?
After speaking to a number of professors in the School of Social Science, I came to the conclusion that I would prioritize my own goals and live for myself moving forward. I knew my family probably wouldn’t support my dreams at that point, so I applied for scholarships and worked hard to save up for my tuition. My perseverance moved my grandmother to support me. She and I had a deep conversation one day. That was the moment she revealed that she didn’t want me to live a hard life. But for whatever reason, I reminded her of her young self, who worked hard to achieve her and her husband (my grandpa)’s goals in life.
“You (my grandpa said to my grandmother) were totally born at the wrong time! You could’ve gone to school and achieved so much more”, my grandmother recalled.
Breaking Gender Stereotypes and Expectations
Knowing that my grandmother understood my decisions and was willing to give her support meant everything to me. She was the reason why I was able to complete my certificates in Behavioural Science and Health Management, after all. In the present, I am working hard on my new projects that rely heavily on my technical skills, such as web design, storytelling, graphic design and educational program development.
I hope this article can empower all of you, man, woman, or non-binary gender, to become who you want to be, regardless of what society tells you. It is your life and your decision – regain your autonomy and start your own journey.
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