Last Updated on August 12, 2026

One of the many reasons why it is hard to end a toxic relationship is that the relationship appears genuine and trustworthy at surface level.

3 different types of toxic relationships

1. Sycophancy: Relationship believed to be genuine that never exist
2. Dishonesty/Control: Relationships that are built on mind games and manipulation
3. Bullying/Coercion: Power imbalance relationships that are doomed to fail from the beginning

considering when to end a Toxic Relationship?

Sycophancy

This happened several years ago while I was in college to further my career. Instead of finding our own teammates for a group project, we were randomly paired and assigned to a group by a course instructor.

One of my teammates, Person B, said they were nervous because they didn’t know others that well. For whatever reason, Person B chose to approach me – a total stranger as well. Without asking further questions, we exchanged phone numbers with each other as per their request.

As our friendship progressed, they invited me to their home, sharing secrets with me, and even introducing me to their inner circle. I sincerely believed that we were good friends until they ghosted me after completing our team project. What’s worse, I met a mutual friend at the school cafeteria one day, casually mentioning how I lost contact with them. To their surprise, they promised they would find out what was going on. However, when I met them again at the school cafeteria, they looked away as if they did not know me at all.

What happened bothered me for a few years until another college friend of mine revealed that Person B was a sycophant person. They did the same thing to many other classmates because they wanted nothing but to pass the program. Having experienced the most toxic relationship, I learned to choose quality over quantity. Once I sniff out anything dubious, I would quickly end that toxic relationship.

Dishonesty And Control

Being in toxic romantic relationships taught me the importance of practicing self-compassion (learn more: 7 Secrets to Happiness). I came to realize that anyone could be a toxic person if they didn’t deal with their traumatic experiences.

A few of my past relationships were quite toxic because I allowed them to happen. Some relationships had many red flags at the beginning, but I chose to ignore them. Being alone was scarier for me than being in a toxic relationship when I was younger. Fortunately, I chose to work on myself by going on several self-discovery journeys, I learned to wave goodbye to toxic romantic relationships.

bullying and coercion

My first full-time permanent job (loosely related to my profession) had a very toxic workplace culture. The office manager stated,”We used to have staff crying at work. Don’t wait until you’re ready to quit.” on my first day of work – what a start!

Colleague A often insulted me in front of our patients and made me feel less than. They even said to me, “You should give me one dollar each time you wave (say hi and wave goodbye) at a patient.” Moreover, Colleague B and C gossiped about other people’s lives and made false assumptions. Initially, I thought everyone was friendly until I overheard Colleague A judging me, from my work outfits (approved by the management) to my professionalism (I learned everything fast) while I was in training with Colleague D.

Many years later, I came across a review published on a popular job board, written by their former long-term employee, claiming where I worked was an extremely toxic and abusive environment where senior staff members constantly bullied others. Unfortunately, I worked in a few more similar workplaces where the employee retention rate was low. Bullying and coercion is not uncommon in the work environment, and the management is responsible for the occurrence of workplace bullying. In a recent report, 65% of all workplace bullies are bosses or hold a managerial position (Dansker & Aspromonte, 2019).

Why it is hard to end any toxic relationship

It is hard to end any toxic relationship because a toxic relationship may appear genuine and trustworthy initially. And if a person experiences emotional inertia, the cycle continues. The truth is, ending any toxic relationship is only hard when a person isn’t ready to make a difference, or is experiencing the lasting effect of “guilt tripping”. Humans are incredibly resilient, after all.

Reference

Dansker & Aspromonte. (2019, May 10). Personal Injury – Workplace Bullying. Dansker & Aspromonte LLP. https://www.dandalaw.com/blog/2019/may/personal-injury-workplace-bullying/