Last Updated on March 30, 2026

What is Marriage REALLY about? Do people, who are in love marriage, get married for the right reasons? If you are considering taking your relationship to the next level, you might want to ask yourself the following 10 questions.

Fun fact: The author, Vivian Davis, is currently married. They chose to hire a marriage commissioner and completed the ceremony without vows.

Important Questions to ask before taking your relationship to the next step:

1. What is marriage to you?

Why do you want to marry them? What does marriage mean to you? If you don’t get married, what would happen? If you do get married, would your relationship be more intimate? Does getting married make any difference in your lives?

2. How adaptive are you?

Marriage isn’t for everyone because it is unpredictable. Although marriage can be consistent, it has its own dynamic. What family would you marry into? A small family or a large family? Do they interact with each other frequently? Are you flexible enough to handle uncertainties within your own immediate family as well as their extended families?

3. Are You Comfortable With Your Partner(s) Now?

This is a big question. How comfortable are you with them in the present? Did you feel safe to share your childhood trauma with them? Did you confront your fears? Do you still keep secrets (that could potentially do harm to your marriage) from them? After all, a one-sided marriage or a marriage that is built on lies is doomed from the start. Before your relationship heads in an unintended direction, please consider what your bottom line is.

4. Are you ready to accept who they really are?

It is not uncommon for people to show their true selves after entering marriage. In most cases, people reveal signs of who they really are while in the relationship. Unfortunately, most people don’t pay enough attention to detail.

5. Would you be willing to explore new possibilities with them?

Life is full of surprises. What you have planned may no longer be applicable or available. Things can occur unexpectedly, so what matters most is if you are willing to push through the adversities side by side as a team and family.

6. Can you picture a life without children with them?

Oftentimes, choosing to simply move forward (such as tying the knot or having kids) while struggling to find a balance in your relationship is not the answer or the solution. Would you still love them if they never changed themselves? Would you still be in a relationship with them if you didn’t have children together?

7. What is your marriage financial plan?

Finances could be the flashpoint for couples (Craig-Bourdin, 2022). How are you going to spend money? Are you planning to open a joint account? What are your financial goals?

From a legal standpoint, once you marry someone, you become a family. It doesn’t matter whether you have a child or children together or not. When you and your spouse choose to marry one another, you are a team, a unit and legally a family. Therefore, having this conversation (learn Why People Often Choose Not To Communicate Effectively Today) is necessary before entering a marriage. You need to choose the right match to share the rest of your life with; otherwise, you may face divorce, the second most stressful life event for human beings (“The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale,” n.d.).

8. What is the big picture?

This is a straightforward question. What will you and your partner(s) achieve together as a family? What is your ultimate goal? Where do you see yourselves in 5 or 10 years?

9. Are you ready to take on greater responsibilities?

Marriage is not a fairytale. There is no guarantee that you will have a happy marriage, even with great effort. What you can do is to do your part and keep promises. And don’t take your words lightly when you vowed you would be with them for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part.

10. Can you communicate well?

There is no perfect couple. It is completely normal to feel frustrated at times in a romantic relationship when you simply don’t know how to communicate with them. Because people have different upbringing, educational/professional backgrounds and life experiences that make each and everyone unique.

What’s your take on marriage?

References

Craig-Bourdin, M. (2022, January 21). Couples and money: 6 topics to discuss. CPA Canada. https://www.cpacanada.ca/news/canada/2020-02-14-couples-finances

The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale. (n.d.). MindTools. https://www.mindtools.com/avn893g/the-holmes-and-rahe-stress-scale