Last Updated on April 12, 2026
Knowing someone’s ancestry cannot help us better understand each other due to human migration. What if you are like me, who doesn’t fit in any given category? How would you survive in this society?
Did you know most humans are all mixed in a way because of the bloody human history (e.g., colonialism) and human migration? If you want to know where the person was brought up and their early experiences, a more genuine question would be: “Where did you grow up?” or “What city or region were you raised in?”, not “Where are you from?”, which often means “What is your ethnicity?”, which tells nothing. Although defining an individual by their ethnic group(s) is not the most effective way to learn more about people these days, it is an inevitable process for the greater good. Change takes time, after all.
Overgeneralization is a pressing issue. Many, as a result, who just don’t fit in any given category, do not feel safe to speak up. When people are comfortable ignoring deep and meaningful conversations and jump to conclusions, they lose the opportunity to get to know someone. This is, from my perspective, how unconscious bias occurs and where discrimination begins.
Where Do we belong?
Having common interests and/or shared beliefs is generally how people form a clan or large community. Tribalism, in this context, is a way to increase people’s sense of belonging.
We all want to belong somewhere and be friends with like-minded people. But do these people only exist within our own local community? Owing to our current system, each group is being clearly defined by most government bodies based on their ancestry. Namely, when a person checks the box, they define who they are as the ethnic group(s) that they inherited from. For instance, a person is judged based on their physical appearance because it is taught to represent a certain culture or belief.
But in reality, everyone is different. Is categorizing people into groups, hiring people due to their ethnic group, or defining vulnerable populations really helpful? If it had done its job right, why would we still face the music over hate crimes, for example, rooted in the lack of proper human skills education?
how I found my identity
Where do I belong? Neither of my immediate family members communicated openly with each other, nor did they teach me how to live my life to the fullest. My grandfather, who was the only exception, taught me the importance of humility and personal finances. He did his best, but his belief system was built in a different time. Most of the time, I just never felt that I belonged where I grew up and the people I had interacted with throughout my childhood.
When I had the opportunity to explore, I left my comfort zone. From an early age, through education, I realized I would never fit into that narrative. Gender expectations, for example. I liberated myself, and that’s how I found my identity. Admittedly, my academic achievements were accomplished via my family’s financial support – which I will forever be grateful for – I exerted every effort to reach my goals. While it took me a while to find out who I truly am, the process was worth it. Such a process taught me to take full accountability for my own actions and stop seeking social validation blindly, which helps me gain full self-autonomy.
I Don’t Fit In Any Given Category
I used to behave in a certain way (though the behaviours were still quite distinct) to fit in well at school. The fact that I don’t fit in any given category is the reason why I am writing this article. No one should ever feel compelled to be someone they are not. We should always be comfortable the way we are. I hope this article can empower more people to find their own way of living – free from traditions or stereotypes. Similarly, I hope I can encourage people to be more curious about life. Through lifelong formal and informal learning, our transferable skills can help significantly decrease misinterpretation and misunderstanding and increase the formation of true friendships.
Create your own category
What if you don’t fit in any given category? Be your own activist and create your own. If it weren’t for activists’ efforts, the new category “non-binary gender” would not have existed. Don’t let anyone get in your head, indoctrinating you that you don’t fit in, so that you can’t accomplish anything. Anything is possible. You will shine no matter what in your own category.
reference
Berelevant Network. (2024, June 19). Revolutionizing Adult Learning: Learn human skills in a dynamic learning environment [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/6J58dMDKYDs
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