True success comes from collaboration, never segregation. History demonstrates that one of the main determinants of human evolution and success is the use of “communication”. Therefore, this article elucidates how patriarchy is still a driver in the modern world that inhibits personal growth and collective success.

the general background and history of Patriarchy

A patriarchal system is a social belief system that benefits mostly a small group of powerful and well-connected individuals. It is a calculated risk, so to speak, to control and stay in power in modern times.

Through indoctrination, targeting people’s fear of the unknown by giving a set of beliefs and way of being, oftentimes, people are well fit in a patriarchal society before they know it. Alas, what the majority – the global and general shift to the right in historical context (The London School of Economics and Political Science, 2024) – does not yet realize is that such a system doesn’t set most people up for success. Instead, it sets people up for the rat race. A never-ending, highly competitive and repetitive race that very few dare to cross that finish line.

the history of Patriarchy in a nutshell

According to CNN Health (2022), “Women once belonged to their father, then their husband”, said Deborah Carr, a professor of sociology at Boston University. Evidently, during the French Revolution, despite direct participation in tangible changes, women’s rights were retracted by Napoleon after the Revolutionary Era came to an end.

Besides, Confucianism, established over 2500 years ago, is an ancient Chinese ethical and philosophical system (turned political), upholding a strict patriarchal hierarchy, demanding women’s subordination to men. Take The Three Obediences, for example. The ideology stipulates that a woman should be subordinated to her father before marriage, obey her husband after marriage and, in widowhood, she obeys her sons (Du, 2022). Such traditional cultural values, like Confucian ethics, are deeply entrenched in countries in Southeast Asia (SEA) and African communalism (Abneh, 2019).

On the other hand, a 2020 study conducted in Ghana, located in West Africa, found that biological males are using violence to control traditionally defined women and to emphasize their authority and supremacy (Sepeng et al., 2022).

To put it another way, patriarchy was never a cultural practice restricted to only a specific geographical location; it was and still is a shared value across different cultures and communities around the world.

the effect of Patriarchy in modern times

Patriarchy affects men as well. Cantor (2021), a deputy opinion editor for Guardian US, shared that they noticed the sense of masculinity was dependent on others’ views (competition and attention), which could channel into anger and, inevitably, violence – when not taught properly. On the other hand, conducted in 2024, Pew Research found that 54% of U.S. polled female participants and 42% of U.S. male respondents would turn to their mother for emotional support, followed by turning to a friend, 54% and 38%, respectively.

In March 2026, Healthline indicated a 2021 study done by The BBC Loneliness Experiment, out of 46,054 people, males reported higher feelings of loneliness than females. However, a 2019 meta-analysis of almost 400,000 people suggested that, across the average person’s life span, loneliness rates are independent of gender. In other words, loneliness is a sign of a lack of social connection or intimacy, which often occurs due to distrust rooted in a lack of open and effective communication as a result of a patriarchal system. The effect of patriarchy runs deep, which affects all genders in modern times.

how modern Patriarchy Shows Up in modern humans’ everyday life

Did you know that a common security question asked by banks in Canada includes “What is your mother’s maiden name?”? Are you aware that such a question is, in fact, evidence of modern patriarchy still showing up nowadays? In light of that, filing for a legal change of last name after marriage and the historical reasons for the gender gap in STEM are examples that modern patriarchy still dictates modern humans’ everyday life.

Coverture: subsuming of a woman’s identity

Are you aware that, in modern times, and even in progressive states, due to social pressure, coverture is prevalent among married women? The intention was conspicuous: the husband owns the wife. Coverture, deriving from the Middle Ages, imported by the English colonists to the North American colonies (The New York Historical, 2020). It is a long-standing patriarchal system that still influences the complex decision-making processes of modern humans. In addition, it held that no female person had a legal identity. Under coverture, a married (biological) woman was covered by her husband’s legal identity and her husband had absolute control over her body and over their family (The National Women’s History Museum, 2012).

Despite great efforts in the women’s rights movement among all nations, a 2023 Pew Research Center study showed that almost 80% of U.S. women (from certain cultural groups) in opposite-sex marriages reported that they took their spouse’s last name after marriage.

While in Japan, due to the Japanese ruling party being predominantly controlled by men who cling to rather outdated values and gender stereotypes, it is reported that Japan is the only country that still enforces having the same surname after marriage. Besides, ABC News Australia interviewed several individuals of Asian heritage about how they felt about changing their last names after marriage, and many of them chose to keep their surnames because it is a societal norm to “keep their family’s (father’s) legacy” or “identity”.

All of which showed that even though these democratic societies scored 7.85 (U.S.), 8.48 (Japan), and 8.85 (Australia), ranging from 0 to 10, respectively, based on the world’s democracy index, 2024, this patriarchal system is ingrained in many traditional practices or customs. A biological female, on many occasions, still highly regards their paternal heritage and/or family name or identity of their husband.

gender gap in STEM

The reason for the gender gap in the field of Science, Technology, Engineering, or Mathematics (STEM) is none other than the result of a patriarchal system. It is the empowerment of social categorization that perpetuates stereotypes and unconscious bias, ultimately widening the gap. Affirmative action or the mainstream DEI approach is counterproductive to what it’s intended to achieve.

The laws that forbade (traditionally defined) women from seeking education in Europe and North America were gradually rescinded during the mid‐19th century (Wellenreuther & Otto, 2015). Before the late 1800s, teaching was a profession for (traditionally defined) men only; it was a venerated and well-paid occupation until women entered the scene, which quickly changed everything (Ross, 2019).

Moreover, multiple studies conducted in the early 2010s found that subconscious bias against (biological) women scientists exists in higher education settings. Westcoast Women in Engineering, Science and Technology (2016) pointed out that a lack of work flexibility is a factor contributing to the low participation of women in STEM and leadership positions.

All things considered, due to (biological) women’s oppression rooted in patriarchy, firstly, women generally do not receive as many opportunities as their counterparts. Second, social stereotypes instilled in society hinder or influence women’s choice of career paths in the modern world.

Summary

Now, with the knowledge you have, how do you see this question: “What is your mother’s maiden name?”? This question is only valid under circumstances when a) your mom has changed her surname after marriage by law or for cultural reasons, and b) your mom’s marital status is “married” (in some cases, “widowed” or “divorced”). Because a legal change of name is a personal choice in the modern day of Canada. Not only is the question irrelevant to the current cultural (and legal) climate, but has a detrimental effect on feminist movements and the human rights movement, in general.

To summarize, in a patriarchal system, a male is often raised to conquer, compete and lead, while a female is taught to comply, follow and nurture. From a historical standpoint, (biological) women were passive citizens receiving no voting rights, denied public services, job opportunities (financial liberty), etc. Alas, for thousands of years, they had no identities, legal status and no voices. Even with efforts to modernize laws, proper and relevant education is often overlooked. Consequently, the current patriarchal system negatively affects most.

All in all, modern patriarchy restrains not only opportunities for women but also men. After all, personal growth is not a gender-specific subject but a “what it means to be human” privilege. Some (biological) men may prefer pink to blue, while some women may have extraordinary abilities to lead rather than to comply. Creating a world where everyone feels seen and fulfilled is the future.

If not now, when?

Do you find yourself tiptoeing into conversations or having a hard time connecting with others on a deeper level? To avoid conflict or any misunderstanding, you are most likely indoctrinated to generalize everyone. Berelevant Network, a dynamic human skills learning center, helps you build sustainability into your life. Featuring sensitive topics, from self-awareness workshops to fully custom team training, Berelevant Network’s non-traditional approaches empower you to identify and challenge modern patriarchy. Learn strength-based and holistic approaches that can help you communicate effectively and openly in a previously unfathomable way.

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