I visited a childhood friend of mine recently, and surprisingly, fulfilling social duties had consumed their mind. Their progressive views in life, as a result, were emphatically replaced by the “That’s the way it should be!” mindset. Alarmingly, they mentioned them and their long-term partner, who they described as “an immature individual”, having difficulty in handling personal finances and holding serious conversations, considered to legalize their romantic relationship. “Are you sure?” I asked. “No, I am not,” they said.

This article includes non-exhaustive lists for educational and informational purposes that you – regardless of your sexual orientation, gender, socioeconomic status, etc. – can ask yourself before legalizing your romantic relationship. Please kindly note that if you need urgent medical attention or psychological support, seek medical support immediately. Alternatively, fill out this form, detailing how we might be of assistance, and we will get back to you shortly.

*This article is in relation to Daily writing prompt.

what is your relationship like before considering legalizing your romance?

People say things will become clearer with the passage of time. Is that so?  In my friend’s case, I’m afraid I cannot tell if they know exactly what they want in their life as time passes by. During our brief meeting, many of our conversations stimulated them to “think”. “I don’t use my brain (power) when speaking to my partner, like ever”, they claimed.

“Did I somehow revive parts of your brain processing more complex information through our intellectual conversations?” I posed a question. “Yes,” they said, “I just realized I’m now having a hard time processing information due to ignorance”. Despite such revelations, my friend repeatedly said, “… (whatever their partner did that missed the mark), but it was nice to have them around”, so I felt compelled to ask, “Is it a partnership or companionship that you are looking for in a romantic relationship?”

questions you can ask yourself (yourselves) to distinguish between a partnership and companionship

• Are we independent from each other?
• Do we have clear and shared life goals?
• Do we share the same core values and common interest(s)?
• Can we elaborate exactly why we are together?
• Have we challenged each other whenever necessary?
• To what extent do we agree that we are each other’s refuge or safety harbour?

In summary, on many occasions, a long-term companion fills a void on their terms (often leading to loneliness in a romantic relationship), whereas a long-term partner prioritizes partnership and open communication. To put it another way, whoever you choose to spend your lifetime with, consensually, doesn’t have to be your everything, but you have to feel at home at all times with their presence (or absence) if you are considering legalizing your romantic relationship.

7 critical questions to consider before signing a legal document

In 2023, I once challenged readers whether they fantasized about weddings (so that they are more inclined to romanticize marriages) due to media and cultural influence. Since then, my take on marriage (i.e., a piece of paper) has matured. Candidly speaking, I didn’t associate a martial arrangement with social movements until recently. I discovered that there is little knowledge and educational resources for the general public regarding “what it really means to legalize a romantic relationship”. Without a healthy understanding of what a person’s civil rights and social responsibilities are before signing a legal document, it can have a devastating impact on a person’s life.

Three years ago, while juggling with my new roles, I completely overlooked the effect of patriarchy. After being exposed to several viral videos concerning “marital hatred” between 2024 and 2025, it occurred to me how important it is to remind people of their civil rights. That is, if the laws grant you the freedom of choice, why not see “looking past traditional norms that do not speak to you” as an option? From that time on, I referred a marital arrangement to a process to legalize a romantic relationship. Hence, a partnership.

a list of questions that will have a profound impact on your romantic relationship

Before concluding a chapter of your romance, consider having the following conversations with your partner to identify your relationship status: a partnership or companionship.

• What do I know about their family’s medical history?
• Have I noticed any signs of undiagnosed mental disorders?
• Do I fully understand the reasons or purposes for legalizing my romantic relationship, like social pressure, legal reasons, or “just because”?
• Have we discussed whether we are having children or not? Do I want children or need children?
• Do we have a (general) retirement plan or any contingency plans?
• How will we share household duties?
• Have we set boundaries? Do I have clear definitions or understanding of each other’s “pet peeves”, “personal space”, “time together” and “time apart”?

what’s next?

Eleanor Brownn said, “You only have one life to live. Make sure it’s yours.” If you are one of the fortunate people who have (limited, but relatively generous) freedom of choice by laws, please take advantage of your rights. The list can go on depending on your cultural and social influence, upbringing and educational backgrounds. However, knowing answers to these mid-level questions (see what entry-level questions are) will help you identify if you are looking for a partnership or companionship in your romantic relationship. There is no right or wrong, or better or worse; it is just a personal choice.

Lastly, no matter where you live, communication skills training (check availability here) is relevant to you. It helps you make informed decisions and understand others better to live, work and play harmoniously together in Mother Land (Berelevant Network, 2024). For this reason, you are more than welcome to make a special request if English is not your first language. The Berelevant Network Team will assess your English comprehension via a short call and adjust all relevant teaching materials accordingly.

reference

Berelevant Network [@berelevantnetwork]. (2024, September 24). Let’s go back to the Cretaceous Period! [Video]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DATNN4svVgd/