Last Updated on October 10, 2026

Are you the sandwich generation? Even though you have worked hard to meet societal expectations or standards of your conservative family of origin to be where you are, you feel you are “never enough” for your family of origin or for society. You might have built your own financial and emotional safety net, but deep down, you often feel empty inside. This might be because you don’t always recognize the occurrence of emotional blackmail. In this article, you will learn common reasons for upholding steadfast beliefs that aren’t yours and how guilt tripping, a form of emotional blackmail, inhibits you from personal growth.

*This article is in relation to Daily writing prompt 2787 and 2793.

what positive emotional blackmail may look like

In January 2026, Pfizer’s CEO told Fortune on the Titans and Disruptors of Industry podcast that he emotionally blackmailed his employees during 2020. Reported by Yahoo Finance, albeit the feeling of “a little bit” guilty when asking his people to calculate how many people would die during the additional weeks they requested, in his defense, it was a necessary push to save the world, the economy, and society.

On a similar note, Vivian’s journey to break free from gender expectations helped her find her voice and meet her true self at the end. The process of solution seeking, like what the researchers at the Pfizer lab in 2020 experienced, was nerve-wracking. Nonetheless, it is true to a degree that time spent on emotional reasoning can at times cloud judgment, losing sight of what’s more important and logical. From this viewpoint, any form of emotional blackmail may be perceived as “positive” if you turn setbacks into strengths.

3 myths preventing you from liberating yourself

Did you know that many common beliefs found ubiquitously – though practiced differently from culture to culture – often hamper self-liberation? Stemming from modern patriarchy, the main purpose is to keep people in their place so that the influential socio-economic oligarchy can remain in power. Despite collective efforts in protecting rights and promoting democracy, a lack of understanding of true diversity impedes collective growth.

A 2022 analytical report written by Professor Mace, from University College London, corroborated that contrary to common belief (that patriarchy always exists in human history), research showed that the patriarchy has never been a natural order of things (since female leaders and matriarchal societies have always existed), but rather a choice made by people in power. Therefore, recognizing the myths that obstruct your internal growth is an important first step to liberty, and ultimately, to be free from emotional blackmail. See the following:

your cultural identity is your only identity

How do you identify yourself? Do you think your ethnicity or ancestry represents who you are as an individual? Take Canada, Japan and Australia’s Census for example.

Yoshida (2025), a PhD student at the University of Tokyo, shared that the number of foreign residents constituted about 3% of the total population in 2024. However, irrespective of Japan’s demographic changes and the introduction of a comprehensive anti-discrimination law, it is still widely recognized as a homogeneous society and a nation that is free from racial discrimination (Yoshida, 2025). As a result, the Japanese Census (as shown) focuses primarily on a person’s household number, living situation, and employment rather than their “cultural identity”.

Canada and Australia honor their residents’ “cultural heritage”, yet such actions can insinuate “a person’s cultural identity is their only identity”. Namely, it suggests an undertone of “social categorization”, which prevents their residents from liberating themselves. A questionnaire on a national level as such symbolizes “the voice” from the policy makers. In addition, this framework can turn into a predicament if it is not handled with the right intentions by the right hands. After all, true diversity isn’t by physical appearance, or cultural heritage (only), but by characteristics.

life is linear

You know, realistically, that a sheltered lifestyle is against curiosity: a human’s intrinsic biological drive and an imperative part of human evolution (Kidd & Hayden, 2015). Nevertheless, your learning trajectories, on many occasions, suggest otherwise. In other words, your (immediate) social circles and, from a macro-level perspective, your society give you workbooks (e.g., indoctrination) and teach you what you can or cannot do (i.e., justice system). Consequently, you live a life with a template. Ask yourself: is your current living conditions your true calling? Robert Sapolsky, a neuroscientist who made it to Africa and lived with the baboons, viewed free will as an illusion due to the cortical development starting with a fetus, suggesting that a mother’s socioeconomic status can already have an impact on it.

To be more specific, you don’t, or can’t, always recognize emotional blackmail because your path is likely to be pre-determined. Ever being empowered to “follow in someone’s footsteps”? See life as a template below:

1. Listening to your legal guardians/parents/primary caregivers
2. Navigating and complying with the unspoken societal norms
3. Following teachers’ guidelines (approved by the government)
4. Building a career (e.g., climbing the corporate ladder)
5. Tying the knot (often leaving out the most important part of the dating process: asking if “marriage” is for you)
6. Starting a family (even if legalizing a romantic relationship is already considered “starting a family”. This implies that “married couples” should have children together; otherwise, they are not a real family)
7. Leaving your legacy, often tangible assets

Sadly, because of the scarcity of proper support and resources, it is not uncommon to just choose a “different template” other than go on a self-discovery journey with the right support.

there is a formula for success

Furthermore, you are sold “a formula for success” from an early age. From being a top student to securing a high-paying job, the steps to success are oftentimes conditioned. The truth is, even so, you have the ability to see through it. Fear mongering about “derailing from a template” is one reason why you end up choosing a more familiar path. When you submerge your latent talents and choose self-preservation, you wind up in an awkward position eventually. Now, you feel trapped. Therefore, you don’t always recognize (or, you repress your feelings) that someone is guilt tripping, gaslighting, or emotionally blackmailing you simply because it is the price you pay when you play along.

Although the formula for success differs from culture to culture, it centers on controlling your behaviours and influencing your decision-making processes. Of course, the procedure is lawful and meets democratic (if applicable) standards (since it is flawed to begin with). That is, when you voluntarily associate yourself with one ethnic group, the rule makers can thus define you effortlessly. For instance, you are a part of a data set (as illustrated above) for research purposes in your government’s eyes. On the other hand, when you believe that a template of “the rat race” is the (only) way of living, and you follow through it, reaching “success”, it is convenient for the authorities to presume “peace”.

recognizing emotional blackmail, now what?

There is pushback from those who honor “freedom of choice” and “rights to education” (not indoctrination), such as an organization like Berelevant Network. But it is not enough to change those narratives. You are the change. Berelevant Network is merely a powerful catalyst that helps you recognize emotional blackmail and find solutions.

Did you know a happy or an optimistic person can still feel stuck at times, and live with “pain and suffering”?

– Vivian Davis, trained empathetic Social Work and Applied Behaviour Analysis professional

Your life is more than just “if you’re not happy, calm, or delighted, then you’re sad, depressed, anxious, or angry”, which is a conditioned belief, not the reality. Making most decisions in life is not actually a true or false question process, but rather a “multiple-choice question” process. Guess who should make the list of choices? You should! Berelevant Network’s job is to be your light when you reach a critical juncture in your life. There is a program structure, but teaching materials are context-dependent.

With that in mind, how long have you been standing at the crossroads, and how much longer are you planning to stay static? Berelevant Network, a holistic and dynamic human skills learning center, encourages Q&A learning and invites you to bring your questions (for service navigation, or for business requests) anytime, anywhere.

references

Roytburg, E. (2026, January 29). Pfizer CEO says he used ‘emotional blackmail’ to get employees to achieve impossible goals during COVID-19. Yahoo Finance. https://finance.yahoo.com/news/pfizer-ceo-says-used-emotional-002600936.html

Mace, R. (2022,  September 20). Analysis: How did the patriarchy start – and will evolution get rid of it? The Conversation. https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/2022/sep/analysis-how-did-patriarchy-start-and-will-evolution-get-rid-it

Statistics Canada. (2026). 2026 Census – Form 2A-L. https://www.statcan.gc.ca/en/statistical-programs/instrument/3901_Q2_V8

Statistics Bureau of Japan. (2025). Population Census. https://www.stat.go.jp/english/data/kokusei/

Australian Bureau of Statistics. (2026). Overview of the 2026 Census topic review. https://www.abs.gov.au/census/2026-census-topic-review/overview-2026-census-topic-review

Yoshida, S. (2025, April 2). Japan and the Myth of “Ethnic Homogeneity”: Reflecting on Contemporary Challenges. Stanford Program on International and Cross-Cultural Education. https://spice.fsi.stanford.edu/news/Japan-and-the-Myth-of-%E2%80%9CEthnic-Homogeneity%E2%80%9D-Reflecting-on-Contemporary-Challenges

Kidd, C., & Hayden, B. Y. (2015). The Psychology and Neuroscience of Curiosity. Neuron, 88(3), 449–460. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuron.2015.09.010

SBA The Steven Barclay Agency, Inc. (n.d.). Biography of Dr. Robert Sapolsky. https://www.barclayagency.com/speakers/dr-robert-m-sapolsky

Light Watkins. (2024, August 12). Neuroscientist: Free Will Is An Illusion | Robert Sapolsky [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fspRkpa6KbY